trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
