I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
