I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I don't think brook has ever known best
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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