I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
