and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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