That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He felt like a one man threesome
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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