Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think people are normalizing furries
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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