The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
