I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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