Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
