Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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