lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
