U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
