We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
