my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
