I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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