can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
