Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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