I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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