I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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