i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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