Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
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and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
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We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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