too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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