the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
