my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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