I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
