Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
