tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize