She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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