I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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