I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
