thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
