Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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