just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
