everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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