sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
