so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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