it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
