we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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