Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
