chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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