I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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