fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
