I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
