woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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