look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
