dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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