It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Dicks are not precious.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
