I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Randomize
