Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
