My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
