I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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