Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
