i need an iv and a liver transplant
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
