Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
