So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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