who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
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S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
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drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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