2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He better not be in your backpack
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
