forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
