Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
