I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
