Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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