When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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